The Anorexic Night before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and food filled the house

I hid in my bedroom, as scared as a mouse

The cookies and brownies and candy and treats

made my heart race and flutter, and skip a few beats

My family was eating, enjoying the day

I closed my mouth firmly and withered away

I wanted to join them and laugh and have fun

but mentally – mentally I was just done

I couldn’t control it – the fear and the pain

My mind said through food there was nothing to gain

Surrounded by loved ones, but really, alone

I hugged my small body – feeling each bone

The tears started falling – I quietly sobbed

I couldn’t help feeling my life had been robbed

by the monster inside me, who took all my joy –

who treated me like I was but a chew toy

Standing there crying, I looked at the ground

knowing that there was no peace to be found

When quite to my shock I felt arms cross my spine

I snuggled in close as my mom’s heart met mine

She stroked my hair gently and held me quite near,

so desperately trying to quiet my fear

And right in that moment, with love in the air

I knew that this curse was a trial I could bear

For my family was with me, and all my friends too

And with them by my side I might just make it through

The road would be bumpy and ragged and torn

but if I kept walking, I might be reborn

So fearful, but ready, I met my mom’s eye

I said “Mommy, oh mommy, I’m going to try!

I will fight for my freedom, and I won’t give in

I’ll fight, and I’ll fight, and I’m going to win!”

This year for Christmas I’m smiling once more

I’ve crossed the deep water and reached the far shore

My life is now peaceful and happy and free

And I’m grateful to finally, truly be me